Current location:	Here
Current mood:	drunk
Entry tags:	monsters and rollins and random, oh my!

Tuesday's Blog
So, as I write this, I’m coming up on hour 36 without a cigarette. Thank God for the Patch, eh?! So, even though I’m not really nicking per se, it’s still just the desire to have something to do with my hands that’s just going to drive me nuts, and, I suspect, there’s going to be a certain amount of anxiety and depression along with the whole deal. Add to that the reduction in caffeine intake that comes from phasing out Cokes, plus diet change and exercise additions, and my mood swings should hit Warp 9.99 in about three days. And to think, I wasn’t grinding my teeth ENOUGH… Still, though, once the Balance Board gets back and is working properly, I can start getting variable workout in motion. That should get the mood swings some outlet to use.
So, with that in mind, that might explain why lately (as in the last couple of days), I’ve found myself in a bit of a funk, wondering if I might not really be all to blame for the way things have gone down, that maybe I am a monster. Funny thing about that, though… I just don’t really FEEL like a monster. I mean, yeah, I did my share of things that ruined things, but, pound for pound, I don’t believe that I’m nearly the Anti-Christ. Maybe just a minor imp, or, at best, a lesser minion of evil, like Azrael or something.
Just me, I’m sure. Still, though, I finally found my inner voice. It’s really pissed off, and sounds a lot like Henry Rollins, which is ironic, because I was watching Rollins yesterday, but what it said to me made a lot of sense. This is my time of testing, And yeah, I’m losing a lot right now, but as long as I stay strong and learn to stand, what I gain will be so much more than what I’ve lost; when I look back in six months, I won’t even recognize myself as the same person.
So, I guess for now, at least, I need to find the proper outlet for the rage and aggression that takes hold at inopportune moments (like checking people into the hotel, church functions, or sex), cause anger is something I have to live with; suppressing it is a decision I made that isn’t working.
So, I guess that’s the end of the current round of introspective bullshit. Now, on to the entertainment portion of tonight’s program.

Following this blog, there will be a complete breakdown of the pending economic collapse, with a detailed layout, charts, graphs, and emergency exits which consist of a large pine box, a gun loaded with one bullet, and last rites administered by an official of the religion of your own choosing.

I’d like to bitch about the Muzak that plays in the hotel lobby. Seriously, I’d like to bitch about it, but the truth is it’s actually not too bad. There’s some good tunes in there, and, after hearing Nirvana’s Come as You Are as ACTUAL Muzak in Wal-Mart one night, what we have here ain’t too bad.

Come to think about, what’s the purpose of Muzak anyway? I always thought it was developed as a subliminal way to cut down on the urge to shoplift or cause general mayhem when one is in a public place. I think there should be a nice, loud, hard-to-miss announcement when one walks through the door: “Attention, potential shoplifters! Any illegal activities occurring within these walls will be dealt with by shooting you in the kneecaps, then leaving you for the Dobermans to work over! Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart! And remember, only 283 shopping days until Christmas!”

Speaking of Xmas, it’s sad to envision a world made up of 365 days worth of Xmas sales, Xmas lights, Xmas trees, endless toy production to compete for kids’ attention at Xmas, and Xmas itself. But it’s coming. If the corporate vultures who took the meaning out of the holiday have their say, we’ll be hearing Jingle Bells until this time next year, when the Muzak flips to Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. Fuck Thanksgiving (although that one’s already plowed under by the commercialized Xmas frenzy), Fuck Halloween, Fuck the Fourth of July, just one big, year-round smorgasbord of Xmas cheer. And thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.

Okay, I can own up. There’s a fairly hefty amount of vitriol going on behind blue eyes. I’ll put a little more thought into these rants next time ‘round, ‘kay?

More lame call-in excuses!

“There’s a tear in my beer, so I won’t be in today.”

“My drunken driving caused a fifteen go-kart pileup this morning. The cops are holding me until I sober up.”

“I’ve declared today a national holiday.”

“customers. to disturbing be may It today. backwards speaking I’m”

“I’m not really sure what gout is, but I think I have it. I’m just gonna take some Robitussin and hole up for the day.”

“The volatile political climate is stressing me out.”

“You know those commercials where they say ‘If an erection lasts more than four hours, call your doctor’? Yeah…”

“Burned a hooker with my crack pipe. Send bail.”

“The world shifts, man. That’s all I’m sayin’. The world shifts.”

“My friends and I have a bet how long the new 90210 will last, and I have to stay here to see who wins.”

If the elastic waistband doesn’t snap back wash after wash, you might wanna lose some weight.

Peace up yours!
OUT!!!